So what the fuck, right?

You're probably wondering where your favorite pissed off college student was this weekend, and I have to say that I had an awesome weekend, mainly because I was at work the whole damn time. However, I did get to think about a new story that I haven't told yet, so there is new material, albeit a couple days late. Here we go.

So back in September, while I was still nice enough to give a fuck about what Fatass is doing, I come back into the room after class. After I get settled in, he takes out this massive chef's knife and starts sharpening it. By Big State laws, you are not allowed to have any sort of that on a college campus, let alone concealing it in your fucking sock drawer.

Now, normally I'm okay with rights to carry and stuff like that. You'd be god damed to find out, but I'm actually a pretty tolerant guy. But the thing is that people actually heard the sharpening of the knife from rooms away, so the Big State University Police was called, along with the Generic Residence Hall Director. So pretty much, I hear a knock on the door and go over to open it and there's a university cop and the hall director glaring at me. I step out of the way to show Fatass sharpening his knife.

Nowadays, I'd want him to get his fucking due, but back then I felt kinda guilty for selling him out. If I knew then what I knew now, he'd be getting slapped down with a court appearance. Kinda wish he was. But the worst part of it all was that he made up a bullshit lie about his friend being a culinary arts major and he was just sharpening it for her. Riiiight.

So, they let him off with a warning, and he's thinking he's all high and mighty and invincible. Think Boris Grishenko from GoldenEye. He pretty much became an insufferable twat for the next two days, continually gloating about the fact that he pulled one over on a rent-a-cop.

What he doesn't realize is that had I known better, I would have sold him out faster than Napoleon sold the Louisiana Purchase in 1803.* But since that incident, it seems that the lesson sunk into his thick fat skull and he stopped doing stupid shit that will result in a court hearing.

I still wish he would be pimpsmacked by the law at least once, but I think that death by liquid nitrogen and then an explosion would be better.




*Your history reference for the month.