Monday, March 21, 2011

Phone Phun, Part III

So Fatass is now stuffing his face with food and asking me about wrestling, and I'm pretty much gritting my teeth as he asks me who Snooki is. Seriously, I fucking hate Jersey Shore, but I know who Snooki is. Currently, he's wearing a sleeveless t-shirt despite the fact it was only 28 degrees out today, and his gut is hanging over the bottom. He buzz cut his hair over break, so now he looks even more like a murderer or pedophile, as I've mentioned previously.

So how was my spring break? Well it started pretty shitty. I had to get my car to an auto parts store to get some oil after my check oil light came on. Turns out I have a cracked head gasket and need to shell out a thousand dollars for the repair. Fan-fucking-tastic.

But on a positive note, I was able to finally see K-Star. We weren't able to do EVERYTHING we wanted, but it was definitely good to see her and unwind. I also got to see the Funkmaster and a few other friends. Ma and Pa Pissy were in Florida for most of the week, so I had the house to myself for a few days, and then I got to spend some quality family time.

Now he's talking about how the Mythbusters did an experiment with a pool of syrup. Again, I like Mythbusters, but I don't give a shit about his awkward attempts at conversation with me. And now Bess is calling, so let's tune in...

... Well, we would tune in, except Fatass realized that he had to go to the bathroom. Now, I'm all for talking to loved ones while on the can. Sometimes I even tell K-Star when I'm sitting on the throne, just so she doesn't question the odd echo from my end of the phone. But in an area where 15 other guys may need to go into the bathroom? I've got news for you, pal. WE DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU OR YOUR PATHETIC LIFE.

Well, I think he may have died in there while taking a shit, so whatever. I'm gonna take off for now, but I'll be sure to post again once he says something stupid. See you all when he gets back.

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