Looooow fucking standards

Fatass on his average
Saturday afternoon.

Howdy, folks.

So it's another day, so you know what that means, right? You guessed it! More unannounced guests who just make themselves at home in my room without my permission. Today we have regular repeat offender Bitchface over. Seriously, it's like the mentally challenged criminal that is caught jumping across the counter at McDonalds to steal fries, getting arrested for it every day, and then coming back to do it again. "Derrrrrrrrrrrp I like being in yer room derrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrp." No, nobody likes being in my room, and you know why? Because it smells constantly like either a seafood store or a shit factory. And I got news for ya. It ain't me. I shower and put on deodorant every fucking day.

I got back from school today while Fatass was apparently in the bathroom (no, he probably didn't wash his hands. I didn't bother noticing). I sit down at my computer because that's what I do to drown out the annoying high pitched squealing of Bitchface whenever she's around Fatass. He says "it's back", as if I'm a fucking thing. Pretty sure I'm more of a man than you are, because unlike some of us, *I* don't have tits. But back to Bitchface... she apparently worships him like he's the best thing in the world. Looooooow standards!

That's the problem with people like Bess and Bitchface. I used to think that Bess was a sweet girl that was just misguided and didn't know how to be treated, but nah, she's just a bitch. However, she, like Bitchface have looooow fucking standards. Let's go over, shall we?

(SPOILER ALERT): I'm not Brad Pitt. I am not remotely attractive. I'd say I'm somewhere between Gerard Butler and Steve Buschemi. But at least I know how to act, I know how to make people laugh, and I'm not a toxic fart-ripping, inconsiderate, nosepicking fuck, so that makes me generally appealing to K-Star. I'm cool with that. I treat her with respect and I generally know how to show her a good time that doesn't involve comparing bra sizes.

However, with people like Bess and Bitchface, they're just banking on the fact that somewhere beneath all the folds and hair and sweat, there might be a penis down there. It's like an urban legend and they're the ones that think that they'll prove the world wrong by finding out that Fatass has a cock. Only problem is that it's not the penis that matters when it comes to being a man. It's about doing stuff that benefits your woman and makes her happy. Fatass has yet to grasp this and thinks that because he's got a penis, he's a man. He's also got B cups, so does that make him a lady as well?

It's really kind of pathetic that those two harpies fawn over him like he's the best thing since macaroni with cheese. He's fat, he's a douchebag, he doesn't know how to take care of himself and he doesn't know how to treat others. And now he just farted. Terrific. But because of their low standards, people like him, who should be banned from any form of pleasure, get to have their balls played with. There's something criminal about that. They're still stuck in that high school mindset that the bully and the bad boy is the one to go after, because he may put you down, but he's sooooooooooooo popular. Got news for you, bitches. He's only popular with you two and his drug addict brother, so grow up and walk away.

People like them really need to raise their standards and get out of the high school drama phase of their lives. Sure, that's fine to do between the ages of 14 and maybe 20 if you're really desperate, but once you hit junior year of college, you should realize that it's not all about people who are popular. You should look for things like happiness, love, and not having boobs bigger than yours. But hey, if you want to live in your own little dreamlands where those bitchtits are actually mountains of popular manliness that's your ticket to being awesome, you're just flat out wrong. Those bitchtits are horrendous things that will lead you into a trailer park mothering 8 state-fed babies you can't take care of. Welcome to life, bitches.