How to have an easy finals week

Fatass apparently doesn't
like getting caught in a lie.

Solution: STOP LYING!

So, as the title suggests, you're probably wondering what you can do to have an easy finals week. It's really quite simple. For the men, shave your head so you look like a pedophile, eat tubs of lard until you have tits bigger than other members of your family, and wear cutoff sleeves and fart constantly. For the ladies, fall in love with that.

Seriously, Fatass has done nothing but play video games every day this week, so when normal people are studying (as well as the other people in his class), Fatass feels that he's above the laws of education and will just fuck around.

And then they're his little lapdog, Bitchface. She's currently laying down... on his effing bed. I must admit, it's nice that they've both put their heads down on the pillow I've farted on, but this is just beyond disturbing. She's just laying there, curled up in a ball, and reading. Must be that she subscribes to the Fatass Don't Give A Fuck Finals Filosophy. Yes, it's spelled wrong because Fatass doesn't know how to spell.

Breaking it down further... I'm trying to get my fucking work done. Fatass, who said he's going to "be weally weally qwiet..." in that fucking goofy 5 year old patronizing voice that makes me want to take a kendo stick to his fat face, is now talking exceptionally loudly on the phone to Bess while playing video games. Bitchface is here as well, laying down on Fatass's bead and reading some piece of shit novel.

I failed to mention that Fatass is only narrating his video game playing to Bess. So it's not like it's stuff that matters. It's just bullshit on top of bullshit that should result in him being stabbed in the eye. And now he's fucking lying to Bess again by saying that Bitchface was over earlier but isn't here anymore. I've had enough of this shit.

So yeah, I called him on it, State of the Union style. He goes, "Yeah, she left an hour ago."

In an effort to correct him, I helpfully chimed in, saying loud enough to be picked up by the phone, "YOU LIE."

Fatass merely glared at me as if he has the balls to do something about it. If I wasn't busy writing this blog, I probably would have given him the ol' double middle fingers. Besides, fuck it. He knows he's lying and I've only got a week left.

Ah, and now they're saying "I loveums you", so it must be all good with Bess that Fatass lied to her. I'd feel bad for her if she wasn't so much of a conceited bitch. So now they're off the phone and he's just glaring at me. I, however, am doing what I do best and ignore him as much as you can ignore someone that takes up the entire goddamn room. He just snorted or something and turned back to his video game. Yeah, you run away.

But yeah, I'm getting sick of all this stupid bullshit. It must be lovely that they don't have a care in the world about finals week, but you know what? I FUCKING DO. And soon enough, they're not going to have a job in the world. Soon enough, it will no longer be my problem. Only one more week to go. Give me strength...