Ibee Pissy's Day Off

Fatass sprinting so that he
can be first to my room and
engage in awkward conversations.

He lost.

It's a 2nd Day of May Miracle: Fatass is wearing a shirt that he decided to keep the sleeves attached to! That means no more rolling waves of fat slithering every time he makes any sort of movement... well at least for today.

Today started out well enough. I made it to my class JUST on time (I was actually running to class out of fear of being late, then hearing my professor call out, "no need to run, I'm behind you."). I had a great lab session where I absolutely aced it, and then decided to go to lunch before my next class. As I was relaxing and eating, I spotted it.

Like a scene in a horror film where the murderer just slowly appears out of nowhere, Fatass's rolls became visible at the "take-out" line, which was about 50 feet away from me. I panicked and dropped some tomato sauce on my shorts. Dammit. I could feel his cold, beady eyes staring at me, doing anything to get my attention. I saw him waving, but I diverted my attention to a handy flyer on the table. Finally, the lady behind the counter was forced to work overtime to feed his fat self, so I made a break for it. As I stood up, I looked at my tomato sauce-stained pants. Fuck.

I look over at the take-out line, seeing that the slop is being loaded a mile high in his box. I had seconds to react. I needed to change my shorts, but he was headed back to the room too. I don't want to see him, and I'm not changing my shorts in the bathroom because I should be able to change my goddamn shorts in my own goddamn room. Aaaaaaaaand cue the music:

And oh, the yelling between the mother and daughter? Yeah, that's about the sound Bitchface makes on a daily basis.

I raced back to Generic Residence Hall, literally sprinting down the hallways. I climbed the three sets of stairs and made it to my room. I punched in the code, quickly looked to my left and right, and got inside, quickly shutting the door. Part one accomplished.

I quickly changed into my shorts without any signs of Fatass. I gathered my things and walked out the door, turning away and making my way down the hall. I had made it!

...

"Well hello there."

Fuck.

"I noticed something weird going on with your computer monitor. It flickers colors."

"Yeah, I know."

...

What the fuck are you doing looking at my computer monitor anyway? It's none of your god damn fucking business! I mean, there's a possibility that he just noticed it while he was getting his fat ass out of bed, but I'm a very paranoid kinda guy, so I'm willing to bet that he started trying to log into my laptop. Good thing I lock it before leaving and can guaran-damn-tee that he doesn't know my password.

So now classes are over for the day and I'm back from dinner. Fatass is talking to Bess on the phone with his shirt lifted up so that his gut can get some fresh air. So far, they've been talking for about 15 minutes (that I'm aware of), and there haven't been any gems yet.

Oh here we go. "The likelihood of you getting a job is less than me." Wow, way to be a fuck. Too bad you can't get a job because you're a psychopath lazyass bastard who can do nothing but whine and complain about every little thing.

And with that, I want to punch him in the mouth, so I'm out.