The Bitch(face) is back

Well, that took what? Three, maybe four days? After the initial guilt of having Bitchface over for every day this semester, Fatass finally got over it when Bess left, and now Bitchface is back in the room, doing whatever on her laptop while Fatass just looks at the pictures like an amused toddler. As you can tell, it's another lovely day for me.

So here's how my Monday started. I woke up to see that Fatass wasn't in the room, as usual, since he has a 9 o'clock class and always leaves early. This allows me to put on a towel in my room and walk the 2 doors down to the bathroom, avoiding the hassle of trying to balance a towel, washcloth, and clothes all on one towel rack. It's just easier. So I wake up and I disrobe, and grab my towel. Wouldn't you know it, the fucker punches the code into our room. I throw the towel around me and collect my things in a hurry to get out of that potential assrape possibility. "G'morning... taking a shower, are ya?" Yeah. I am, Fatass. See this soap? THAT'S HOW IT'S DONE.

I take my shower, figuring he's just forgotten something, but hey, I don't have a change of clothes in the bathroom with me, so he'd better not be there. I finish showering and come back into the room. He's still there, watching cartoons. At this point, I think he's going to molest me. I keep my towel on and change into my pants then gather my bag and get the fuck out of there before it gets any god damn creepier.

The rest of my Monday goes pretty smoothly. I ignore Fatass on my way down to lab, my classes finish up, and when I come back for the day, he's not here. Good! So I decide to do some laundry. When I get back, guess who's here! That's right! Fatass, with Bitchface sitting by his bed like a dog. Can you guess the first words out of his mouth? "Laundry day?" Nope. I decided to take all my clothes and burn them because of your horrendous stink.

So now I'm eating my dinner in my room, because I decided that I wanted to avoid the cold Big State winds. I'm eating my food, and what does Fatass do? He blows two loud, obnoxious smelly farts. Bitchface served as a temporary windscreen, but still. I ate as quick as I could and threw out the rest because he's a fucking douchebag with no sense of common goddamn courtesy. I mean, do I need to take a poll here? Do I need to ask whether it's polite to hold off on a massive shit fart until after people eat? I thought this was common sense stuff!

So now they're gone. They decided to go to dinner or, in terms Fatass can understand, "provide more fart fuel". Seriously, douchebag. Lay off the Twinkies and cabbage and maybe you'll stop the fire alarms from going off in our room.

I'll finish up today by posting what I originally wanted to talk about before he did more stupid things to piss me off. Fatass wants me to recycle and put my empty cans in this gray bin so that he can return them. Last semester, I was a naive fool and didn't realize that the recycling room in our building recycled cans. So tell me, you fat fucking shithead, why should I pay you money when you're nothing but a god damn, good for nothing, incestuous, predatorial, horrendous smelling pedophile? In my books, you owe me about eight thousand dollars. That should cover the expenses of rooming with you, plus some money for therapy.

Also, to get a better look at my room, I created that diagram of how our room is set up. From here on out, you'll see drawings appear on the blog every Sunday, showcasing my life in my glorious art.