Why I hate snow days

The Trifecta of Annoyance



 You're probably asking me, "But Pissy! How could you hate snow days? They're glorious inventions you can only get while in school and your schedule for the day is completely free!" Here's how.

I woke up at 7:30am to find that Big State University is closed for the day. I then went back to bed. Fatass MUST have heard me, because I was farting the entire time as payback for his shit farts. So I go back to sleep around 8am, and then sleep until about noon, because hey, it's a snow day. BUT!!!! At 10:30am, Fatass opens the door and goes, "Hey... you know it's a snow day, right?" Nope, I'm just sleeping through my 9am class and 10am lab for the fuck of it! Jesus fucking Christ. Do NOT wake me up for stupid shit. He's lucky I didn't cut his tits off with his own knife.

So then, after rudely waking me up, he turns on the god damn fucking TV. Why? Because he's Fatass and he's up at 10:30! Fuck everybody else! There are only two people in this world I will listen to when they tell me to wake up, and that's Ma and Pa Pissy. If Fatass wants to be a complete cock and try to wake me up by example, I'm just going to keep doing shit he hates, like not take out the trash and not give him my empty cans for free.

So when I roll out of bed at noon, I find that I have the room to myself, figuring that Fatass went to go pork Bitchface in her room or something. But at around quarter after, they're back in the room. Still no asking me if it's okay. Still no common god damn courtesy. Just a condescending "GOOD AFTERNOON" like Ma Pissy would say after I stumble down the stairs at the same time. Seriously, a TV to his fat fucking face is sounding pretty good right now.

Then enter both him and Bitchface. Bitchface plugs her laptop in and is now sitting at the side of my bed while Fatass is laying on his bed with his gut flopped out all over it. Asscrack is, of course, in full view. I'm listening to my iTunes with my headphones in, so what does he do? You guessed it! He asks me the same god damn thing he always does. "Oh, I didn't wake you, did I?" Oh, no. Your obnoxiously loud stupid assed statement about school being closed did NOT wake me up, even though I mumbled something incoherently and then threw my head back down on the pillow. Shut the fuck up, you fat inbred hick. The Trifecta of Annoyance has been complete. I mean, the Triforce is right there, and I'm making a wish for them to get the fuck out until my dying day, but nooooo. I guess I don't possess a balance of the virtues. God dammit.

So yeah, in a nutshell, fuck snow days.