Sure, call anytime

Durrr wut's this magicy thang
I can hear muh freeyinds in?

So it's 12:24am and Fatass receives a phone call. If you think it's Bess, you're wrong. It's the other blind, deaf and dumb girl that gets a jolly off his fat stank.

It appears, from their conversation, that I'm not the only one that thinks Fatass and Bitchface are fucking. Maybe that should tell them something. That if they aren't fucking... yup. Just said, "I love you to death, Bitchface." Well, not Bitchface, but her actual name. Still, why is Bess still with this fuck?

He's blathering on like an idiot about how college is all drama and he's been here too long and he's seen so many things and knows about the shallow-minded and uninformed and how their narrow views of life are like a cancer. UH... HELLO???????? Do you even listen to the shit seeping from your mouth? Maybe if you spent a little less time sucking on your own tits and actually did something to benefit society rather than waste space with your fat fucking body and douchebag attitude, you'd actually amount to something decent that might do something besides suck on the state tit for the rest of your life.

Ah, now he's saying that Bitchface can call at any time, and that I may not like it, but whatever.
I can deal with an upset roommate. It's a little easier." Yeah,  you know what else is easy? Ripping out every single greasy hair follicle on your fucking bulbous head with my bare hands to make you look like the prick you are. Suck on that you fucking twat.

So you know what I'm going to do tomorrow night? I'm going to fucking unplug the phone from the jack right after he goes to sleep. Fuck you, you piece of redneck shit. Thank fucking Christ that I'm leaving for spring break in two days, otherwise Fatass might have the debilitating condition of a towel rack going through his tits.

Seriously, at this point, I'm only living with the nasty smelling fat fuck because it's a challenge. I think of myself like the presenters on Top Gear that have to brave the Amazon rain forest or the African salt plains or something, except this is much more foul smelling and with a much worse attitude.

So tomorrow is Ash Wednesday for those in the Christian faith, and I'm taking advantage of that to cut class and be like down on my knees day and night scoring points for the afterlife. If Fatass even thinks about waking me up like a douche, I may just stab him in the eye. Music break!!!

Oh! Now here we go again with the een-veen-cee-bull shit! Still talking about how he threw boots into a bathroom and got a slap on the wrist. And now he's saying that some chick is ugly and how if her feet are any uglier than her face or some stupid thing. Again, have you taken a look in the mirror lately? You aren't exactly Prince Charming there, fuckhead. Hell, you aren't even halfway decent looking. All I see is a bulbousy fuck. No, I take that back, Fatass. When I see you, I see a zit that's just dying to be popped.

"After this bullshit, they should go die. Just go get eaten by a bear." Yeah, I think you should too. Now he's telling Bitchface to have one of her friends Facebook me. I'm glad he sees that I don't desire to be any sort of friend to him and doesn't even try. "Stupid fucking abusive whore." Have you listened to ANYTHING you've goddamn said in the past 50 minutes?

(need-to-take-a-shit fart)

Now he's talking about how one day, someone's attitude is going to get them in trouble. Hey Fatass! I see a red truck! Time to reap what you sow, motherfucker!!!