Finals Week Bitching: Day 1 of 4



Chris Hansen:
Fatass's mortal enemy
and worst nightmare.

 So it is officially that time. It's finals week, which means that I'm in an intense state of studying. However, I think that it's more than appropriate to update all of you on the dumb shit my roommate does. Shall we start with when he came back last night? After all, that's when all the bullshit started again.

Well, it first started with him closing the blinds and glaring at me, because in his mind, it's a sin and a felony that I don't fear The Red Truck. So you knwo what I did today after I got back from my final? That's right, the blinds are open again. Funny thing is that there really is a red truck out there. I kinda want Fatass to see so that he'll start panicking, but I don't want to deal with the smell of him shitting himself.

Back to last night... I'm sitting at my computer reading over some notes and watching an episode of "The Office" on my computer as background noise. I hear Fatass bang his hand into the door as he enters the code, which makes me snicker. He lumbers into the room and guess who's in his wake? That's right, it's Bitchface! Obviously you've seen that he has no problem stepping over lines. Habitually. He's a habitual line-stepper (thanks Charlie Murphy). So why would last night be any different? Well, for one, I put a kabosh on that bullshit right away. I said, "Whoa now. I'm studying here."

"Oh, it's ok. We're just going to eat and then she's going to leave... if that's okay with you."

Oh yeah, sure. How about I knock all your teeth out so you can eat through a straw from now on, you fucking prick? How about this. How about for once in your miserable life, you decide to be somewhat respectful of someone else's need to study and get out.

I mean, he walks around this room like he owns the place, which is pretty pathetic. He owns this room which is smaller than my room at home and it's like he's the king of it. Well, unfortunately the world has news for him: just because you're a fat fuck does not mean that you're entitled to everything on earth. Being a big man does not mean that you've got a big personality. Honestly, he's nothing but a bitchtit swinging bully who needs to grow up. If it was anyone else, they would have punched the kid in the face. I, however, have more enjoyable ways of tormenting his soul... like leaving a little sticky note on his pillow with the link to my blog when all is said and done.

Therefore, it's time for an open letter!

Dear Fatass,

I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOUR MALODOROUS PATHETIC LIFE.

Cordially,
Pissy

P.S.: Chris Hansen called. He wants you to have a seat over there.