Why I hate snow days

The Trifecta of Annoyance



 You're probably asking me, "But Pissy! How could you hate snow days? They're glorious inventions you can only get while in school and your schedule for the day is completely free!" Here's how.

I woke up at 7:30am to find that Big State University is closed for the day. I then went back to bed. Fatass MUST have heard me, because I was farting the entire time as payback for his shit farts. So I go back to sleep around 8am, and then sleep until about noon, because hey, it's a snow day. BUT!!!! At 10:30am, Fatass opens the door and goes, "Hey... you know it's a snow day, right?" Nope, I'm just sleeping through my 9am class and 10am lab for the fuck of it! Jesus fucking Christ. Do NOT wake me up for stupid shit. He's lucky I didn't cut his tits off with his own knife.

So then, after rudely waking me up, he turns on the god damn fucking TV. Why? Because he's Fatass and he's up at 10:30! Fuck everybody else! There are only two people in this world I will listen to when they tell me to wake up, and that's Ma and Pa Pissy. If Fatass wants to be a complete cock and try to wake me up by example, I'm just going to keep doing shit he hates, like not take out the trash and not give him my empty cans for free.

So when I roll out of bed at noon, I find that I have the room to myself, figuring that Fatass went to go pork Bitchface in her room or something. But at around quarter after, they're back in the room. Still no asking me if it's okay. Still no common god damn courtesy. Just a condescending "GOOD AFTERNOON" like Ma Pissy would say after I stumble down the stairs at the same time. Seriously, a TV to his fat fucking face is sounding pretty good right now.

Then enter both him and Bitchface. Bitchface plugs her laptop in and is now sitting at the side of my bed while Fatass is laying on his bed with his gut flopped out all over it. Asscrack is, of course, in full view. I'm listening to my iTunes with my headphones in, so what does he do? You guessed it! He asks me the same god damn thing he always does. "Oh, I didn't wake you, did I?" Oh, no. Your obnoxiously loud stupid assed statement about school being closed did NOT wake me up, even though I mumbled something incoherently and then threw my head back down on the pillow. Shut the fuck up, you fat inbred hick. The Trifecta of Annoyance has been complete. I mean, the Triforce is right there, and I'm making a wish for them to get the fuck out until my dying day, but nooooo. I guess I don't possess a balance of the virtues. God dammit.

So yeah, in a nutshell, fuck snow days.

"Feeling like a freak on a leash"

Korn seems very apropros at the moment, because I have a bunch of rage pent up right now at Fatass. It was a generally good day today. Haven't seen him at all today, but have you ever had one of those feelings where your entire weekend gets ruined by one little thing? Yeah, that happened when he walked into the door. All of the nice relaxation that came about between last night and 10 minutes ago? All disappeared after he stepped his fat ass back into our room.

Big props go out to K-Star at this point. She heard that he came in the door and asked if he took his shirt off yet. She may have been a little off on the timing, but that was only because he was taking his boots off first.

So yeah, now my entire weekend is ruined, just from his fat hairy ass walking into the door. At this point, he's laying down on his bed, watching TV and munching on chips really loudly... and now he's trying to talk to me. Yup, still have headphones on. So this is really the trifecta of annoyance, and it only took him 10 minutes. He's laying down and his asscrack is hanging out, he's watching TV at a volume that's way too loud for respectful tastes, and now he's talking to me with my headphones on. To make matters worse, he doesn't know how to close his mouth when he chews his food, so I hear his lips smack in between asking me stupid shit that I'm not paying attention to. I believe he went to the Larry The Cable Guy Institute of Refined Tastes. I think he failed out after the first day.

On the plus side, it's 9:15pm, so he's probably going to be passing out soon. Still don't understand that. On the plus side, To Catch a Predator is on tonight, and I'm hoping to see his dreadful speckled mug on there. Unfortunately, there are no more new episodes, so I just have to hope that they do a random sting in his East Bumfuck hometown.

But tomorrow is the start of a new week. I'm sure I'm going to be even more pissed after a long day of school, so we'll just have to wait and see. Until then, I'm just in a holding pattern, waiting for the next retarded statement to come out of his mouth to further instigate my rage.