Video game stupidity

So I get back from class today and I'm enjoying some alone time before dinner. Of course, that's too good to be true. The second I decide it's time for dinner, Fatass comes in. Granted, it's cool that he arrived when I was about to leave, but that's not the douchebag part.

The douchebag part is him saying that he's not going to be here that long, and guess who's with him? That's right, it's Bitchface. So they both come in, even though "we're not going to be here that long." I say whatever, because I'm going to dinner anyway. I get back from dinner, and who do I see? Yup. That's right. Fatass and Bitchface leaning against my bed, playing video games. Apparently, "not that long" will translate until about midnight, and apparently, spring break has taught him nothing about respect for others' property. Not that I expect him to learn anything, because he's a retarded redneck fuck. No, I'm sorry, he's not a retard. That's too offensive... to retards. He's a motherfucking fatheaded, no-brained dickless lunatic that deserves to fail at everything in life forever.

So what are they doing while sitting against the side of MY bed? Well, Bitchface is doodling something unitelligible into her notebook, and Fatass is mashing his fat fingers against a video game controller. It wouldn't be so bad if he wasn't so awful. Every 2 seconds, I hear, "God fucking dammit." Literally. Every. Two. Seconds. And then, if he does advance past the bad guys, he makes annoying sounds, like the sound of an alarm or an obnoxious scream or something else that makes me want to drive a railroad spike through his skull.

So what was supposed to be a night of freedom has turned into a disgusting, fish smelly (yes, I think they fucked, because it smells like a wharf) night of misery and hatred. Then again, I'm not surprised. This isn't the first or second time that this has happened, and if I remember correctly, he told Bess that Bitchface wouldn't be over anymore. There are no words that can describe the level of cuntwad this guy is.

And there it is again. "God fucking dammit."

You know what? God fucking damn YOU to the deepest bowels of hell.

.... to the shores of Tripoli!

So after a long day of class and work, I finally come back to my room, and what am I greeted by? That's right, the most disgusting force in the history of the known universe: Fatass, Bitchface, and the stench of one of Fatass's "don't know when to take a shit" farts. God, if you do exist, why must you hate me so? Seriously, there cannot be an intelligent designer in the universe, because of the fact that Fatass even exists.

So Fatass has continued to disgust, not only because of his raunchy shit farts. Since he's still sick, he's still hocking loogies into the trash can. Yeah, he's trash bitch for the rest of the semester now. In the immortal words of the New Radicals, you get what you give, you sisterfucking piece of white trash shit. So now Bitchface and Fatass are leaning right up against the side of my bed again, despite the fact that they could just as easily sit on their bed. I have a theory. I think they do it because my half of the room smells good. Though the refuse to acknowledge it, they prefer the smell of my side of the room to Fatass's, and you know why? It's because I shower with soap, do my laundry, and use proper physical hygeine.

So now I'm totally miserable, and my weekend has been ruined. I'm just happy I didn't walk in to them fucking, but it'd be an interesting story to tell Bess!

"Hey Bess! ... no, don't be a bitch to me just yet. I've got news for you! It's about Fatass! ... oh, no. I mean Porkins.... no, YOUR BOYFRIEND. Jeez, I wish I could fault you for your complete fucking stupidity, but you're so young... Anywho, you'll never guess what I just walked in to. Remember that chick that you don't want him hanging around with anymore? Well, she's back! And guess what? He was fucking her when I walked in! Well, I guess that's what you get for dating a complete fucking fat tool. Yeah, bye."

So yep, my weekend's just started, and it's already turning out to be a complete fucking joyride. Maybe if I'm lucky, they'll both break their legs on the way to dinner and won't be able to come back to the room. Or hell, maybe I can get lucky and he'll get kidnapped and sent to Lybia and get caught up in the riots. See? I was going somewhere with that title.

Must See TV?

So it's another Monday with Fatass. After being at Bess's grandma's house last night, likely porking Bess (but not grandma, since he only goes for lil ones), he ruins my life once more by not being dead. But in all seriousness, I'd be more pissed than sad if he dies, because then I'd have no more blog fodder. So we, as in me and all the readers, need to pray for his continued state of being alive. *sigh* I know it's tough for most of you (I know it is for me), but that's what we've gotta do.
Okay, so less talky, more ranty. I get it. I know what you come here for, and it's not my thought on fuscia wallpaper (love it *rolls eyes*).

So you may be wondering why I've got my mini little TV when there's a big TV in the room that belongs to Fatass. There are several reasons. The first is because I'm afraid that the filthy remote control has been down his pants. But there's also the teensy little fact that no matter what, he's always on the god damn TV no matter what the day. He's either watching some stupid show or playing PS2. Now, normally gaming is fine. I'm a big gamer. What's not okay is when he's playing the same damn game for hours upon hours upon hours, especially when it was in the roommate agreement that hey! Monday night at 9, I get to watch TV. That's important to me, but hey! He's Fatass! He can do whatever the fuck he wants.

And the worst part is that Bitchface just comes in whenever he's in here and just starts playing video games! What the fuck? I mean, if Fatass wants to play video games for all hours, I can't say shit because he's paying for the room too. But when Bitchface comes in and plays video games because she's sad that someone told her off, that is NOT OKAY.

I mean, for the love of fuck! Am I the only one that thinks that it's okay to actually, you know, SHARE a TV? All I want is some common goddamn courtesy. Yes, I've ranted about it before, but no, I don't expect it to get better. All I can hope is that I survive the semester.

But hey, what the fuck ever. I've got my little mini TV that has headphones on it. I can go into my own little world... until he starts talking to me while I'm trying to watch.

Did I wake you?

The sleeping Fatass. Picture is not of him, but damn close.

Okay, so fucking creepiness abounds. Fatass calls Bess's grandma every weekend to see if it's okay for him to come over and spend the night for weekends. Every time he calls, the first lines out of his trap are, "Hello, Alice! Did I wake you?" It's 5:28pm. And now he just hung up and is giving Bitchface a hug out in the hall. Bitchface is just kinda lurking out in the hall. She should have just stayed out there, but whatever. So tonight, it seems like I'll have the room to myself. Anyway, is it just me who finds it weird that he calls his girlfriend's grandma every weekend to see if he can come over? I mean, that just increases the pedo-factor to me. Maybe I've just been too used to his disgusting life.

So yeah, it didn't take long for me to get annoyed with Fatass. The second he walked into the room, he tried to talk to me with my headphones on AGAIN, and then told me it was cool to watch his TV. I mean, it's the lone nice gesture he's done for me since we started rooming in August, but I'm not about to touch his remote control. Besides, the whole reason why I brought my own TV was because he was constantly using it for his ever important video games.

And hey, there it is! Bitchtits are out in full force now! It actually took him 5 minutes because he had to let Bitchface into our room without my permission! So now he's going to shave apparently, so he's pulled his greasy ass hair back into a pony tail and is now going out to shave. Yep, so that means that Bitchface is leaning against his bed, watching my TV and just being creepy. Yeah, get the fuck out.

Yep, now she's talking to me. I do not have my headphones on, so I guess it's forgivable. I don't know why I'm nice and just say "uh-huh". I should really just tell her to get the fuck out of my room, but meh, I figure the blog is good enough.

So yeah, even when he fucking leaves the room, he does shit that annoys me. Why can't people be euthanized, again?

Yeah, pretty sure this is my bed

Who the fuck do they think they are? I mean, seriously. I know the TV is facing my side of the room when not turned, but it's fucking turned toward his bed. Why, therefore, do Fatass and Bitchface feel it necessary to lean right up against the side of my bed to play video games or type on the laptop or do their general weirdness. If it wasn't for a love of all things that belong to me, I would take a big ol' dump and rub the shit on the side of the bed they lean against. Seriously, fuck them.

The good thing about Bitchface is that she's stopped talking to me. Apparently, she's still holding a grudge from mid to late-November when I told her that it was none of her business what I was doing on my laptop. Hey, usually I don't like being hated, but in this case, the feeling is mutual, bitch. The less you talk to me, the better I feel.

Speaking of Fatass and Bitchface, they do this creepy thing every night before she leaves. They hug. Every night. He's about 5 inches taller than her, so it's inevitable that she gets a face full of mantits. And now he's petting her head. Yeah, if they're not fucking, I'm the Pope. So now, Bitchface is sitting on Fatass's bed, snuggling up to his blanket and just in the fetal position. This is beyond fucked up. At least I can just sit there and be silent and only speak when spoken to. I was asked how my day was. I lied, because fuck it. I don't want to talk to them. I'm happy being in my own little silent shell, but Fatass is in for a surprise at the end of the school year. I might just take a big ol' shit on his bed right before I leave for home.

Thankfully, they've now left. They're taking a walk or some stupid thing that makes me think they're fucking. Anyway, after a shitty day, I'm ready to just unwind, but stupid shit sucks. I haven't killed them yet, though.